Remembrance

   In the heart of the U’s campus, across from the big red U, is a giant mound of rocks. That is where Asher and I agreed to meet for the first time near the end of 2022. It was a snowy day, but we were still determined to make the hike up to Red Butte Gardens—and hike up there we did. I remember walking through the frosted flower patches and cracking jokes about the dampness of our pants after we’d sat to chat for a bit. After leaving the gardens, we stopped at the Corner Bakery before retiring to my apartment, where we stayed up all night and binged the entire first season of the anime “The Promised Neverland,” the first of a few anime shows he introduced me to. If you haven’t seen that anime, I recommend watching it because he specifically picked that first anime to show me the two things I loved most about him: his brain and his heart. It was the most magical 18 hours of my life and was the beginning of the most cherished relationship I have ever had.
   
   If I could use one word to describe Asher, it would be authentic. He truly had the most incredible sense of self. In every situation or conversation, he would add so much depth because his knowledge, experiences, and opinions were all so layered and nuanced. Due to this, Asher had big dreams and the talent to back them up. Anyone who knows Asher will tell you that he is the most intelligent person they know—I mean, one of the first texts he sent me was a PDF of a research article on laser-guided lightning that he was reading for pleasure. He had been passionate about Electrical Engineering and Optics since he was young, and he was one of the most amazing, talented, kind, and promising people to ever be in the field. I’ve pulled a couple of all-nighters in the ECE lab with Asher, and I was constantly blown away by his swift deduction. Another passion Asher worked on that blew me away and showed his incredible character was his dedication to increasing LGBTQIA+ visibility and acceptance in STEM and beyond. Asher cared deeply about others and the world, and he undoubtedly made it better.
   
   I was lucky to have him share a lot of himself with me, and one of the main ways was through games. Asher was not only incredibly talented at all types of games (especially strategy-based ones), but he was also passionate about them. Some of our favorites to play together were Sky, Polytopia, Brawl Stars, Honkai Impact, Words with Friends, Roblox, Terraria, and Minecraft (and lots of board games). His immersion into the fantasy of the game and his dedication to mastering its mechanics were among my favorite qualities about him and have left me with so many amazing and funny memories. It’s equally endearing and aggravating to have constantly lost against him in all the PvP games we played because of this (even down to Connect 4!).
   
   All of this to say, Asher was easy to love—and I did, unconditionally. Getting to know him throughout his entire college experience and having the opportunity to share our identities with each other is the best, most lucky experience I will ever have. I have missed the hours-long calls we were having just weeks ago while playing video games together every day and I find myself returning to his Minecraft house to admire his work and feel close to him—it’s a two-story craftsman home with beautiful cobblestone finishes. But the most prized possession I have is a small crocheted lion that he made me, and as I’m holding it, I’m imagining him sitting peacefully making it; and he is beautiful, and focused, and happy, and smart, and shy, and humble, and charming and everything that makes him, him.
   
   Asher, I love and miss you so much.

Topher Lloyd